Chapter 4
The Game of Truth

I took a deep breath, surprised by my sudden urge to open up to her. I'm a flunkey in a suit, I said at last. Import-export, in Umeda.

My words rang hollow before this fascinating woman, but at least they were honest.

And do you like what you do? she asked softly.

Her question, simple in appearance, hit me head-on. For the first time in years, I allowed myself to really think about my situation.

No, I let out, surprised by my own frankness. No, I don't like what I do.

She seemed neither surprised nor disappointed by my answer. On the contrary, her gaze softened, as if she had been waiting for this confession.

And if you could choose, she went on, what would you do?

I stayed silent. The very idea of choosing another path seemed both exhilarating and terrifying. Years of security had robbed me of the habit of dreaming.

She smiled. You remind me of a chess piece, she said, running her finger along the rim of her glass. You follow predefined moves, without really choosing your own path.

Fuck. Her words hit me like a slap. I, who thought myself clever, saw myself as I really was: a guy hiding behind his routine. It shook me.